sleep stress & thoughts

Last night I couldn't sleep. So tonight I took two paracetamol and some cough medicine to help me sleep. Sounds drastic I know, but I feel like I’m getting that winter flu again so really need to make sure I sleep. But as I went to pour out 2 paracetamol from the container, I felt like I was in some movie about to take a ton of sleeping pills. I realised this is what every night might be like for someone who can't sleep. The fear of going to bed, exhausted, wanting to sleep but knowing in a few hours they will be awake again and tomorrow will be another hard day. The pressure that is put on these pills to do the job and the reliability and addiction that comes with that fear and pressure. I got it. 

And it made me think of how important our sleep is. I knew this already; but I had forgotten. I was reminded of the fear and stress that can come with sleep.  I was reminded of the importance to actually prepare yourself for bed. To stop watching netflix 30 mins to an hour before bed. To make sure your bedroom is your sanctuary. And to have a good book by your bed. I spend time getting ready for my day, why don’t I spend time getting ready for bed. 

In my previous job, the stress got to me and I stopped having a good nights sleep. I didn't stop sleeping but getting to sleep was difficult, then I’d wake up in the middle of the night thinking about emails I hadn't sent. Then I started worrying that I wasn't good at my job. I started worrying about financial stuff….the list goes on. Then during the day I was tired and getting upset at little things, but completely unable to control myself and the tears.  In other words, I get the importance of sleep.

I started thinking about yoga (obvs) and felt relief that I had it. But then I realised I didn't very often get to a yoga class before I went to bed as I was the one usually teaching it. Then I got to thinking (as Carrie Bradshaw does)  that there can be other forms of yoga to help switch off. I need to have more hot baths before bed to help my body relax. I need to read my book before bed to help me switch off. I need to take responsibility for my sleep and do what I need to do to ensure I get a full nights sleep. 

This Friday is international sleep day and currently lack of sleep is one of the biggest phenomenons in our modern day society. How many apps, light bulbs, beds, pillows, the list goes on, are out there to help us sleep!! When really we should take responsibility; be that leaving your work on time to have an evening to relax; to not answering your emails late into the night. The world will still be there tomorrow. 

My fear was forgetting what I remembered during the night and I would email myself so that the reminder was there in the morning. I have no answer for when that happens other then just write a note to yourself, send the email and then your mind is clear from the worry of forgetting. But then another one would come in and suddenly it was 4am. But that is a different story and lead me to change my job and become a yoga teacher who very occasionally self medicates to help sleep. But maybe the point is, I can recognise now what I need to be doing to help sleep. I know that watching tv past 10 is not going to help so I always go to bed at 10 and read for a bit. I can recognise that the stillness is needed before I go to sleep. 

But hey we are human there are always nights when one can’t sleep….just watch them, and see how regular they are. Then do something about them.


when you make an effort out of kindness,happiness and love and it's not returned....

I was recently left feeling a bit humiliated, sad and empty inside. I made an effort to go see a friend before a class and they didn't turn up. They never texted to cancel or re-arrange or anything...they had slept in.  And then a few hours later, when they did contact me and I told them it wasn't nice what they did, they told me to not be so dramatic. They didn't even apologise. 

And then I started thinking am I over-reacting...being "dramatic"? Am I being too emotional? I'm a sagitarrius-fire sign!.  And then I thought well so what if I am, this is how YOU have made me feel and I want you to know this and acknowledge this and respect this. 

And then I thought, I would never treat someone like that. I would always cancel or re-arrange or apologise at the least...profundly. I would feel bad. And thats the crux of it. They don't feel bad. They don't care. And thats the next I want to be friends with someone who behaves like that? I know this person is not a bad person. (I think this is maybe why I am so surprised at this behaviour.) I know they can be kind and considerate. I hate cutting people out of my life. I did it before and it was not the right thing to do and it has haunted me ever since. I don't like doing it and to be honest I don't want to....and yet maybe I have to. 

I have no answer. Does anyone else!? Has something similar happened to anyone else? How did you deal with it?

I saw this quote and I'll end on this note...

environment rant


Hi all,

So as some of you may know, I sometimes get on my high horse about the environment and the amount of waste in the world be it through food or clothing. I hate all the unconscious waste!!!

Did anyone see the cover of The Times today? 

If not, maybe have a look and then think about the food waste and why that poor girl has no food. 

Did anyone see the picture of the starving polar bear in Norway?

If not, maybe have a look and think about all the toxic emissions and the need to reduce green house emissions. 

I don't mean to sound preachy but I just felt the need to write this down. I feel so powerless. 

So all I'm going to ask is that we share and watch Leonardo DiCaprios documentary on climate change. All I ask is that we educate ourselves and then maybe governments will pay attention and stop helping themselves and start helping us and the environment.

"The eco-flick is slated to premiere on National Geographic on October 30 and will be available commercial-free in over 170 countries and 45 languages. Before the Floodwill also appear on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Amazon, iTunes and Google Play entirely free of charge from October 30 till November 6."

from London to yoga journey

My yoga journey was born out of back pain and work related stress. A similar journey for many I’m sure!  I was working in the fashion industry and started to notice that my back was aching after sitting at my desk for maybe 3 or 4 hours without moving so I found a yoga class near to my work and started going…religiously ….every Tuesday. I was hooked! Actually after my first few classes I felt a bit nauseous from the breathing but that passed! I then started to get REALLY stressed in work and I noticed that during my yoga class my concentration and breathing were so focused I forgot about work and my mind felt calm. The anxious feeling had disappeared. 

And so I decided to pursue a career in teaching yoga to others. I soon realised that while a lot of people knew about yoga and wanted to try it, there was a slight fear and intimidation. My goal is to take those fears away and to bring some laughter into my class. At the end of the day, we all need to stretch, strengthen and laugh and bring a bit of zen into our hectic lives.